Archive for the ‘Family Films’ Category
Filed under: Animation, Casting, Family Films, Newsstand, Quentin Tarantino
Quentin Tarantino may not have won an Oscar last Sunday, but according to IGN, he won a role in Raja Gosnell’s live-action movie The Smurfs instead. Small consolation, there, I guess. Tarantino will be joining a cast that includes Neil Patrick Harris, certifiably insane comedy legend Jonathan Winters as Papa Smurf and part-time lesbian Katy Perry as Smurfette. Tarantino will of course be playing the most annoying smurf of them all — Brainy Smurf.
I could not stand Brainy Smurf when I was a kid. The bespectacled know-it-all demanded respect from the other smurfs in a whiny, nasal twang, always warning against some calamity that was sure to befall the smurfs, or thinking of himself as the second-in-command to Papa Smurf. The other smurfs never seemed to like him much, and who can blame them? He could’ve ended up in the bottom of Gargamel’s kettle, and I wouldn’t have cared.
The obvious joke here is to re-imagine Tarantino’s trademark dialogue, replacing “smurf” (as smurfs do) for some of his choice expletives, so please allow me to now make the obvious jokes now.
“Lemme tell you what ‘Like a Smurfette’ is about. It’s all about this smurf who’s a regular smurf machine, I’m talking morning, day, night, afternoon, smurf, smurf, smurf, smurf, smurf, smurf, smurf, smurf, smurf.” (from Reservoir Smurfs)
“I don’t need you to tell me how smurfing good my coffee is, okay? I’m the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Smurfette goes shopping, she buys SMURF. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it, I want to taste it. But you know what’s on my mind right now? It ain’t the coffee in my kitchen, it’s the dead smurf in my garage.” (from Smurf Fiction)
Or you could just watch someone’s homemade parody video after the jump.
Continue reading Quentin Tarantino Gets Smurfing Smurfy in ‘Smurfs’
Filed under: Paramount, Family Films, Religious
Adam and Eve have appeared as characters in countless movies, but they typically have to share the big screen with other figures from the Book of Genesis, such as Noah and Abraham. This may not be the case with a new Biblical epic called In The Beginning, which Deadline Hollywood reports is now in the works via Paramount and Journey to the Center of the Earth producer Cary Granat. Oh, and here’s why it could very well surpass The Passion of the Christ as the top-grossing (not taking into counting inflation adjustments) Biblical adaptation of all time: it’s going to be 3D!
I’m assuming that much of the 3D spectacle will involve the first five days of Creation, before Adam and Eve’s arrival. With a narration probably from Morgan Freeman, we’ll witness God’s introduction of light and life, which will hopefully look as great as the 3D Pandora does in Avatar, even if there won’t be any floating mountains or DayGlo plants. Then the film will apparently focus on the story of the asp and the apple and original sin in the Garden of Eden. All in all this will be a $30 million effects-heavy movie with cinema magic supplied by the digital fx company that worked on Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium and The Spy Next Door.
Filed under: Animation, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Warner Brothers, Family Films, Newsstand, Movie Marketing, Images, Trailers and Clips
USA Today has the first look at the film and caught up with Snyder, who decided to take a break from the hardcore and visit a world of owl mythology. “At some point, I figured, I had to do something my kids could watch. Now I’m the one into the stories and mythology.” Despite his reputation for sex and gore, he scaled back the intensity of the books because he actually felt they were too dark to animate. Reading about owl battles is one thing, but no kid wants to see owls ripping things apart with their talons, believe me.
While the photos are full of feathery beauty, the trailer from Yahoo! Movies is actually quite stunning. Snyder’s aesthetic is definitely all over it, but it’s really quite lush and rich in its animation. If I want to reach out and pet their fluffy bellies in 2-D, 3-D should have kids actually reaching out and trying. It has a very impressive voice cast (Helen Mirren, Hugo Weaving, Geoffrey Rush, Sam Neill, David Wenham) but they may all be drowned out by Jim Sturgess’ Soren who really comes off a bit too forced in his wide-eyed enthusiasm. Check out the trailer below. I know the books are really popular, and anticipation is high for the film with its fans. I’m anxious to hear if it meets their stringent expectations!
The gallery from USA Today is also below. I hate to admit it, but this will have my ticket purely for the Cute Overload of Owls. What about you? Is this a film that’s now on your radar, or is there a reason why no one makes any movies about owls?
Gallery: The Legend of the Guardians
Continue reading Is Zack Snyder’s ‘Guardians’ Worth Some Hype?
Filed under: Action, Comedy, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Casting, Fandom, Family Films, Lists
Do you suffer from insomnia? Work the late shift? Live off the blood of mortals in the pale moonlight? Good, then we’ve got a new Cinematical feature we’d like to run by you. As you can tell from the title above, it’s a special Cinematical Late Night edition where we’ll be covering the smaller goodies that tend to get lost in the shuffle over the course of a busy day. Think of this first post as a pilot; if there’s enough interest, we’ll keep it going on a regular basis. If not, just pretend this was all a dream…
- Neil Patrick Harris has been cast in the leading role of Raja Gosnell’s Smurfs movie. He won’t have a self-descriptive Smurf name, however, as he’ll actually be playing a human.
- Stephen Lang, who absolutely nailed Colonel Quaritch in Avatar, has been offered the role of Khalar Singh, the villainous warlord in Marcus Nispel’s reboot of Conan.
- Eclipse, the third film in the Twilight Saga, has undergone a change in the editing department. Director David Slade’s pick, Art Jones (who edited both of Slade’s previous films, Hard Candy and 30 Days of Night) has been replaced by Nancy Richardson, whom diehard fans will recognize as the editor of the first Twilight film.
- A new Indiana Jones movie may be inching closer to life with the familiar rumblings from Harrison Ford that Spielberg and Lucas have agreed on what idea they’ll use for the story.
Continue reading Cinematical Late Night: Smurfs, Conan, Indy 5, New John Hughes Film(?)
Filed under: Action, Comedy, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Casting, Fandom, Family Films, Lists
Do you suffer from insomnia? Work the late shift? Live off the blood of mortals in the pale moonlight? Good, then we’ve got a new Cinematical feature we’d like to run by you. As you can tell from the title above, it’s a special Cinematical Late Night edition where we’ll be covering the smaller goodies that tend to get lost in the shuffle over the course of a busy day. Think of this first post as a pilot; if there’s enough interest, we’ll keep it going on a regular basis. If not, just pretend this was all a dream…
- Neil Patrick Harris has been cast in the leading role of Raja Gosnell’s Smurfs movie. He won’t have a self-descriptive Smurf name, however, as he’ll actually be playing a human.
- Stephen Lang, who absolutely nailed Colonel Quaritch in Avatar, has been offered the role of Khalar Singh, the villainous warlord in Marcus Nispel’s reboot of Conan.
- Eclipse, the third film in the Twilight Saga, has undergone a change in the editing department. Director David Slade’s pick, Art Jones (who edited both of Slade’s previous films, Hard Candy and 30 Days of Night) has been replaced by Nancy Richardson, whom diehard fans will recognize as the editor of the first Twilight film.
- A new Indiana Jones movie may be inching closer to life with the familiar rumblings from Harrison Ford that Spielberg and Lucas have agreed on what idea they’ll use for the story.
Continue reading Cinematical Late Night: Smurfs, Conan, Indy 5, New John Hughes Film(?)
Filed under: Drama, Horror, Fandom, Family Films, Steven Spielberg, Fan Rant
I’m fairly certain that I’ve only walked out of two movies in my life. The first was when my parents took me to see E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial. Since I was only about six, E.T. scared the ever-living crap out of me. I started screaming, and my parents got me out of there. (Yeah, it’s really, really annoying for us when kids cry at movies, but it’s pretty crappy for them too!) I’m not sure if this counts, but I watched Mask in second or third grade with my eyes closed the entire time and, in fact, am still terrified of seeing Rocky’s face. (Last year some friends and I did exposure therapy with pictures of him online, but I guess it didn’t entirely take. I have seen The Elephant Man, though, which is a far better movie, anyway. I even had both eyes open.)
But the only movie I’ve ever walked out of was Outbreak, and not because it was bad, but because it was about frigging killer monkeys who were spreading a virus that makes you puke out your insides. And the more nervous I got, the more hilarious my friend found it, and the more he pretended to cough on me until I left to wait in the lobby. I’m still leery of capuchin monkeys – I mean, you saw what that one monkey did to Ross on Friends, right? I find the macaque in Peter Gabriel’s “Shock the Monkey” video equally disturbing.
So I’ve very rarely walked out of movies, although I have on more than one occasion fallen asleep during them. (I’ve obviously never covered or reviewed any movie I’ve fallen asleep during or walked out of, especially not Outbreak.) I also don’t like leaving books unfinished. I even hate to turn off DVDs midway through, although I had to turn off À l’intérieur, aka Inside, because it was giving me a panic attack. True story.
If you’ve paid good money to see a movie, are you determined to stick it out, no matter how boring, offensive, unfunny, or gross it turns out to be? If not, what movies have you walked out of, and why? Are you more likely to turn off a DVD than walk out a movie?
Filed under: Animation, Comedy, Independent, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Tribeca, Family Films, Dreamworks, Remakes and Sequels, Cinematical Indie
A big green ogre is set to invade New York City next month, as Shrek’s latest installment, Shrek Forever After has been announced as the opener of the 2010 Tribeca Film Festival. The third sequel of the DreamWorks Animation series will debut at the downtown Manhattan festival on Wednesday, April 21, a full month before it opens nationwide. And yes, it will be presented in 3D.
The choice somewhat follows in the footsteps of Up being the first 3D film to open Cannes last year. Yet 3D is really becoming a staple of international film festivals lately. Venice premiered the 3D re-releases of Toy Story and Toy Story 2 3D and even inaugurated a special award solely for 3D films. Earlier this year, Sundance premiered the popular 3D nature film Cane Toads: The Conquest, though it wasn’t the fest’s first foray into 3D presentation.
Continue reading ‘Shrek Forever After’ Opens Tribeca Film Festival
Filed under: Animation, Comedy, Casting, Warner Brothers, Family Films, Newsstand
File under Projects Nobody Asked For: According to The Hollywood Reporter, Warner Brothers is making a live-action/CGI family comedy based around the classic Looney Tunes character Speedy Gonzales, with George Lopez providing the voice of the super-sonic Mexi-mouse.
When I saw the headline, I thought, “Interesting”. When I read the part about it being a live-action/CGI combo, my interest waned. When I got to the part where producer Anne Lopez said Speedy Gonzales now carries George Lopez’s “Latino Seal of Approval” and that, “we wanted to make sure that it was not the Speedy of the 1950s — the racist Speedy”, my interest flatlined. Not because I want a racist Speedy, but because I never particularly found Speedy racist to begin with. He lives in a cartoon version of Mexico, the same way Fred Flintstone lives in a cartoon version of prehistory. There are no Mexican stereotypes that I know of that say that Mexican people are super-fast or adept at stealing cheese. To make sure my dead interest stayed buried, Warners hired the screenwriters that wrote both Garfield movies to tell the tale of how Speedy leaves his family behind to teach life lessons to a timid race car driver.
I don’t know what compelled me to assume we’d get a really cool fully-animated Speedy Gonzales feature film (with Sylvester as the villain!), and not the obvious, weird cash-in hybrid that sounds like a blending of Alvin and the Chipmunks with Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Oh, Hollywood…
Filed under: Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Warner Brothers, RumorMonger, Fandom, Family Films, Harry Potter
My friend and yours, Brian Orndorf, has been constantly updating his own site with progress pictures of the new Harry Potter-themed attraction at Universal’s Islands of Adventure in Orlando, Florida, and the latest batch are beginning to show what the theme park can no longer hide behind barriers — namely, an overwhelming attention to detail when it comes to replicating the world of Hogwarts.
Orndorf’s been covering the construction since late ‘08, but general awareness wasn’t boosted until Universal aired an ad during the Super Bowl earlier this month. Though they’ve claimed a vague “Spring 2010″ opening to allow themselves some wiggle room, special vacation packages tied into the park hint at a more likely Memorial Day bow, just in time to capitalize on all of the local heat and humidity that one associates with the wintry series (hey, you get used to it).
When I asked Orndorf why he snaps the shots, this is what he shot back:
“Monumental theme park development is a rare event. In an industry that’s more than willing to allow celebrated roller coasters and dark rides to crumble due to ludicrous budgetary neglect, the construction of Universal Orlando’s “Wizarding World of Harry Potter” is a pricey gamble worth celebrating in a major way… I hope these construction pictures I’ve snapped from around the area’s Islands of Adventure home can drum up some excitement for this expansive addition to the Orlando theme park sweepstakes, sure to be an event vacation destination for years to come.”
The first half of the last Harry Potter film is set to open this November; here’s hoping that the lines for the rides won’t be so long by then. Check out the best of Brian’s pics by clicking through the gallery below …
Filed under: Animation, Disney, Shorts, Family Films, Home Entertainment
My niece brought me a book to read when I was visiting her last week, an adaptation of the Disney short The Three Little Pigs, complete with illustrations. After we finished reading, I said, “Do you know there’s a movie of this?” and betting heavily on the power of YouTube, sat her down at the computer with me to find it. YouTube came through, and my niece loved the movie. In fact, my mom came in about halfway through, exclaimed she hadn’t seen it in 20 years (we used to have it on VHS back in the day), and watched it with us, delighted.
You can find a number of Disney’s Silly Symphony shorts online, but The Three Little Pigs may be my favorite. The 1933 film won an Oscar for “Best Short Subject, Cartoons.” Depression-era audiences must have enjoyed seeing the pigs fight a literal wolf at their door, the song is infectiously cute, and there are a few sly moments of humor. When the pigs are all in the brick house (I hope I’m not spoiling anything for you here), check out the pictures of “Mother” and “Father” on the wall. The original version of the short was criticized for employing negative Jewish stereotyping in the Big Bad Wolf’s Fuller Brush Man costume. I’m embedding a revised version where the costume was changed; the original sequence is also available online.
You can watch The Three Little Pigs right here, after the jump. And if you want a better quality version, it’s available for sale through iTunes, as well as on several Disney DVD compilations of early short films. Warning: you may find “Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?” sticks in your head afterward for a while.
